Überfahrt to Überfahrt

…and back again

Most of the world’s iconic brands owe much of their success to enjoying a consistent consumer perception. For instance, Apple stands for slick minimalism with all flashy 'design' accoutrements skilfully removed and while Coca-Cola might not make the whole world want to sing anymore, everybody on the planet knows what it is. BMW is in the same pantheon with its cars, synonymous with superb design and usable technology with even the most grumpy journalists conceding that, £ for £, they probably make the best cars in the world right now. By contrast, their motorcycle range divides opinion amongst bikers in general and BMW riders in particular as you tend to be a either ‘K’ or an ‘R’ type. Leaving aside the excellent F-series and the mind-bending S1000RR, it’s the four and six cylinder K-series and the flat-twin R’s that are the twin pillars that support the BMW motorcycle brand but at the same time invite the question of what defines it.

While I love the agility and riding position of the GS and feel completely at home with the comforting thrum of an RT beneath me, I’ve always plumped for the K’s. As I came to BMW bikes after nearly 25 years of driving their cars, it's the same smooth, powerful engines and neutral, balanced handling that makes the cars so good that I'm looking for. So in the last nine years, I’ve worked my way through the K1200RS, K1200S and K1200GT and when I first read about the K1600GT and deluxe GTL in September 2010, I calculated the first models would be delivered to coincide the replacement of my K1200GT. So I went down to my local dealer, credit-card in hand, to stump up the deposit.

Like buying a BMW car, the cost of a K1600GT can escalate alarmingly unless iron-will is exercised when perusing the options list, the £15,495 base model rising to nearly £19,500 for an SE model with all bells and whistles added. This is not mindless extravagance for which ones could you not have?  The adaptive headlight that peers into corners based on angle of lean and speed is a ‘must-have’ as is the traction control and the adjustable suspension. The bluetooth-enabled audio system that links to the Satnav with TMS traffic information fed from the FM/RDS tuner also has an iPod connection and these are all godsends if you flog up and down motorways regularly, as is the phone integration. Many of these baubles and the standard bike itself borrow heavily from the car heritage, none more so than with the central-locking and alarm system that also secures the top-box with it’s high-level brake light, gas-strut supports, interior light and (joy of joys) a trimmed carpet that fits ‘just-so’ like in the footwell of a 5-series. I offer no explanation for how absurdly happy this makes me feel other than I know my touring companion does not have one on his GS....

Production delays meant it was not delivered in time for my annual European holiday in 2011 so I took delivery on July 1 last year. In the intervening time, it has done 9,000 miles of commuting up and down the M11, numerous business trips, a jaunt to the Lake District and the Scottish borders and an impromptu track day at Snetterton occasioned by the theft of my much-prized MV Agusta F4S the week before.

It’s also been upended by one of these myopic taxi drivers sporting a blue London Transport roundel resulting in a scarcely believable £3,200 repair bill for minor, cosmetic damage for which the numpty’s insurance thankfully coughed up. So the term ‘well-used’ is apposite and it’s with fevered anticipation that I make my way through the tunnel on the M20, emerging to see Dover ahead of me and the 07:35 P&O Ferry to Calais....

Devotees of hard-core touring yarns involving 500 mile days, back-to-nature accommodation and the camaraderie of a large group of like-minded folk enjoying manly, quality time together might like to look away now. Our group consists of a paltry two members, the others having long since given up in abject disgust at military levels of planning that a mandates 250 mile daily limit, an insistence in booking hotels in advance (preferably ones with fluffy towels, a turndown service and a chocolate on the pillow); arrival between 17:00 and 18:00 allowing time for a shower, followed by a Leffe or two and a table booked at 20:00 at a decent restaurant.

So following a stop in Bruges, we are heading to the start of Germany’s Romantistrasse that runs from Rothenburg oder Tauber, an immaculately preserved Mediaeval town down to Neuschwanstein, best known for the castle that inspired the castle at the start of every Walt Disney film. The delicious irony is that this castle, which has since become a leitmotif for wholesome all-round family entertainment, was built in the 1860‘s by Crown Prince Ludwig II, an enthusiastic homosexual and legendary drinker as a sort of weekend retreat where he could forget all about the important task of fighting Bismarck and bankrupting Bavaria for a while, to host the sort of parties that, had any been filmed, be highly unlikely to be granted a ‘U’ certificate.

From there, we have two nights in Rottach-Egern, a small holiday resort on the southern bank of Tegernsee before heading for Italy and Stelvio taking in Walchensee and Achensee on the way. Our return route is through Switzerland and the Fluela Pass to Davos and then on the best road I know, the B500. After that, Belgium and then home. About 2,200 miles over ten days do not make for a Charlie’n’Ewan odyssey but it's still a decent test of the all-round capabilities of a motorcycle.

True to form, Belgium in early June (or any time of year, come to that) offers biblical levels of rainfall that the superb fairing manages to keep at bay. The front indicators are built into the fairing and the right one clearly took the brunt of what is akin to riding through shallow ponds for 200 miles and has filled with water, causing an intermittent fault and eventual failure. It’s only when we start going south from Rothenburg that the weather clears up and with it, the sweeps and vista’s of the Romantistrasse.

These roads are so good that I use the ‘Dynamic’ power and traction mode and the ‘Sport’ suspension setting that are all but unusable in the UK where the road surfaces make the throttle seem twitchy and the saddle an instrument of torture. On these settings, the fast sweepers interspersed with occasional hairpins in the hilly sections show how good engineering can make a mockery of physics and 300 kg. of bike with 95 kg. of rider feels like a RD250 with a spotty, malnourished teenager aboard. It simply goes, stops and turns with such predictability and simplicity it makes you a much better and safer rider to the point that ground clearance is a persistent issue with the footpegs touching down with ease. This is not testosterone-charged bragging at all; just testament to how easy and confidence inspiring this bike is to ride fast.

So while the science is in no doubt, what about the looks? Even it’s most ardent admirer would struggle to say it is a beautiful design but it is certainly impressive and a formidable presence on the road. I was followed by one for about 30 miles on the B180 out of Austria into Italy and the pointy nose and the twin running lights with white LED rims make it feel like being tracked by a bird of prey. Intimidating but in a good way. From the rear, it’s a superbly proportioned configuration of panniers, twin three-pot exhausts and a top-box able to take a folded suit without crushing it. Form and substance. Think Anneka Rice and you'll get my drift. It also has an odd effect on onlookers. In Rothenburg, a Japanese schoolgirl insisted her father take a picture of her and I standing by it. No, I have no idea either and neither does my companion whose brand-spanking, triple-black GS Adventurer barely got a glance. 

Outside the 5 star Seehotel by Tegernsee where I had left my sunglasses the evening before, the concierge insisted it was parked right outside while he sent various Merc SL’s and a Ferrari packing to the local Parkplatz. We had eaten at the two-Michelin star Uberfahrt Restaurant in the Seehotel the night before. This represented our furthest destination, the midpoint of our journey and the perfect culinary metaphor for a BMW motorcycle tour as this is immaculate, precision-engineered food served with an unerring level of professionalism. It’s also totally unstuffy with friendly and enthusiastic staff so if you fancy turning up on your bike for a once-a-year, £200 a head blowout, I cannot recommend it highly enough. We liked it so much, we spent the rest of the evening in the bar hence the need to retrieve the sunglasses the following day....

The roads around Walchensee and Alchensee are as good as the continent can offer but best avoided at the weekend. I’m a long way from a cyclist-hater as it’s my preferred mode of getting around for any journey under five miles but I’ve noticed that many do tend to colonise the very best roads at the weekend. Last year, we sweated over Mont Ventoux on a Sunday trying to avoid about 10,000 irritatingly fit-looking people as they clawed their way to the summit and the Bavarian Lakes on a Saturday are much the same. Next year, our ‘rest’ days will be Saturday and Sunday.

Stelvio is a road that looks great in theory but is lousy in practice. The sight of those forty-eight hairpins in the Telegraph Travel supplement when you are staring out into the gloom  on a dank Saturday afternoon in January look like heaven until you’re halfway up it, trying to avoid yet more MaMiLs (Middle-aged Men in Lycra) of various nationalities. The reality of Stelvio is that it is a civil engineering masterpiece but a truly awful road with so many of the corners so tight and steep, it’s an achievement to keep a motorbike upright with no real opportunities for fast cornering. That said, the K1600GT is easier - just - than the K1200GT I did the same journey on three years ago but neither was any pleasure.

After a night in Livigno, the Fluela Pass beckons and while it’s a really good route, it does not live up to the hype of the writers who claim it to be the best in Europe. Like Stelvio, much of it is just too tight to get any rhythm going but the K1600GT still managed to makes it a total doddle with the massive reserves of power making getting past dawdling Dutch motorhome owners a cinch on even the shortest straights.

Across Switzerland by motorway is as easy as it sounds. Just dial-in 90 MPH on the cruise control, raise the electric screen to give the right amount of air pressure to keep your upper-body supported and remove most of the wind noise. Now use the excellent audio controls to put the iPod on random play and before you know it, you are checking into the splendid Schwarzewald Adler Hotel in Hausern. There are cheaper places to stay in the area but €131 for a superb five-course dinner, bed and breakfast is a steal for a hotel of this quality. You don’t get the Michelin-starred restaurant for this rate but the difference between what we had and a single-star is negligible. 

The reason for staying here is the B500, a true Götterdämmerung of a road. Built in the interwar years as a work creation scheme, this epic masterpiece runs from Waldshut on the Swiss border to near Baden Baden about 120 miles to the North. Huge swathes of woodland have been cleared where necessary to give the best possible sightlines and the road is mostly wide, racetrack smooth and maintained to a obsessive level of Germanic perfection. Virtually traffic free during the week, it does get busy on a Sunday when it appears a local bylaw requires that every male over the age of forty-five trims his immaculate goatee beard, dons some over-engineered spectacles and saddles up his 1200RT to go out and linger over a coffee before scaring die Hausfrau witless on the way home. Even so, the omnipresent Polizei are unobtrusive and seem fairly relaxed at locals and visitors alike having a good time but have a reputation for being hard on anyone behaving like a complete arse.

In essence, the B500 is a series of roads rather than just one. The first stretch from Waldshut gives a taste of what is to come with fast sweeps, a few climbs and a humbling 180 degree left-hander at Seebrugg that can be taken at pretty much whatever speed you dare. Then a sharp descent with Titisee on your left and a short stretch along L128 before an abrupt right turn signals the return of the B500. A few miles on and there is a cafe on the left with the view in the photo which is a good place to stop. Alternatively, go on a few miles and down a dizzying hairpin-festooned descent to Schönwald for a food/drink/petrol break. North of Triberg, pick up the B500 again and a picturesque valley road through Bad Rippoldsau ultimately rises up to meet the B28.  Your last petrol stop is about half a mile to the right if you need it. If you don't, turn left and then in a mile turn right back onto the B500 again. And then...Oh my God....

Even after a week of Stelvios, Fluelas, Furkas, Galibiers or maybe the Route d'Napoleon, this section never fails to have either of us slack-jawed with drooling admiration at the end. "This is insane" we slobber "It cannot ever get better than this" we opine, "Nothing else comes close". And nothing does.

From here to Baden Baden, the B500 clings to a ridge of hills that run the length of the Black Forest with monumental views so vast that even if you could bring yourself to stop (and I can’t) they cannot be captured by a mere photograph. This is a fast, very fast road that can tempt you the very edge of your abilities but will reward the smooth and competent by making you feel invincible. Towards the end are a set of traffic lights by a burned out hotel. After a few second respite, the lights will go green heralding a descent of perfect hairpins and twists all of which can be taken at speed before you roll into the pristine town of Baden Baden. Whoever dreamt up the K1600GT must have had this road in mind as - ground clearance not withstanding - it’s the best and fastest run I’ve done on this stretch in the eight or so times we’ve ridden it. 

The journey towards home through the upper Vosges Mountains and the Ardennes invariably feels anti-climatic but provides yet more fast and undemanding roads at which the K1600GT excels. By the time we get to Calais a couple of days later, I’m thinking that if I had to do the same trip all over again starting right now, it would be no hardship at all such are the continent-crushing capabilities of this bike. 

That said, it might not be for everyone. Some may baulk at the price and if you only do a few thousand miles a year, it does look like an extravagance. But if you are looking for safe, swift transport you can use ten months a year as a viable alternative to a car, it starts to make a lot of sense. It’s pretty frugal too and in a final, shattering blow to what remains of my masculine credentials, I confess to regularly getting 48 MPG and the first set of tyres lasted a faintly embarrassing 7,500 miles. Many riders crave a more visceral thrill from their biking and just desire epic levels of performance without day-to-day practicality. If that’s you, the K1600 might feel too refined and clinical, lacking a bit in the Sturm und Drang department.

As you may have worked out, I’m a big advocate but there are a couple of minor niggles: the Satnav mount that does not fit flush causing the unit itself to sit askew; the multifunction controller on the left switchgear works well enough but needs a rocker switch to allow scrolling back and forth through the available options to avoid cycling through about eight menus to get back to the one you wanted. BMW should also fit Michelin Pilot Road 3 tyres as standard as these make wet-weather handling much more sure-footed. These issues aside, the more fundamental point is I think there is room for another variant next to the current GT and the GTL. 

To my mind, BMW should borrow again from the car heritage and in the same way that M versions of the 3 and 5 series cars extend the range into the realm of high-performance sports, there is space in the K1600 range for a model with slightly more focus: a K1600RS possibly with a sports-touring feel: more ground clearance, alloy footpegs, lower bars and a slightly forward leaning riding position. The rest of it, I would leave exactly as is.